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  The WELCOME TO THE TOON Warzone in Newcastle on 4th July is stage 4 of the league. It's also Independence Day in the US & a few years back there was a documentary about a big spaceship that came to Earth & we had to fight them off. It was pretty tough going & the word is they're returning this year with a better plan. Instead of mutliple ships targetting New York, London, Paris & the other places listed on the side of Derek Trotters yellow van the super big one is coming to Newcastle & that's why we're doing the Warzone on that day.  The crack team of Dave Curry, Andrew Renwick, Lloyd Herpurker, Neil Cass & Robert Scott have been in secret training to repel alien forces from taking the Roadwarrior Warzone belt off planet.  They'll be kitted out in urban camo with Dayglo shoes & sweatbands with…

IFA EUROS concluded today. Of the 679 entries, 14 were from the UK - Satin Violet, Chaz Dunn, Mark Waldon, Ethan Fisher, Cagalayan Ari, Marc Sidney, Maurice McMulkin, Craig Sanders, Noah Burton, Morgan Hennessy, Agy Gorzynska, Alan Milne, Thomas Lilley & Ioan Anitulesei. From Ireland, 10: Adrian O'Dwyer, Mo Sabri, Jake Murphy, Alexandru Bugan, Alex Kirchenko, Ernastus Lineus, Viktoria Ziarauskiene, Julius Ziarauskas & Ivan Minev. IFA recognise countries by sovereignty & not the criteria decided on when the PAA was formed, so they don't count towards our team standings in the scores, but get recognized here. 

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It's not easy - transport, accommodation & all the usual stuff for travelling abroad is a consideration on top of  the logisitics of being in the right place at the right time for the various required stages can be stressful. For some, it is old hat. For the first timers - more involved. 

What a weekend! ARMGODS ENGLAND saw title defences, changes & qualification paths. Some new blood established themselves as contenders whilst other champions cemented their positions. The crowd were spirited & attentive. When Noah Burton walked out children held up signs that read "Come on Mighty Noah" People stood in the rain to watch & the cheering for him can only be compared to the love shown when Candyman Scott James walked out dressed as Willy Wonka in Tredegar & Nathan Davey entered the arena in Ebbw Vale. Balsall Common inhaled Noah's battle with Mitch Tutt & it intoxicated them. Dean Bolt was the first to declare it as match of the year & I agree.

These are moments that will be remembered by hundreds & talked about for years to come. It will leave a legacy. Noah, Scott & Nathan are from communities that celebrate the success of local heroes.…

Armgods England live in 1 hr. Great line up of matches. Make sure to tune in an suppprt ahooo

The wait is over only 24hrs untilmsmashy smash

What is your fucken profession?

EARTHQUAKE & TUGBOLT are back, this time not making people wince on the Udezumou Tag Warzone but commentating for ​​​ARMGODS ENGLAND on Saturday 6th June. 

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IRON PAUL MAIDEN called me & said "I want the best commentary partner for Dean Bolt on Armgods. But Martin Lennox was not available, Bobby Heenan & Gorilla Monsoon are both dead & Jesse the Body Ventura is living off grid in Mexico waiting for the world to end."

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Have things got so bad? Well they must have because it will be me back on the mic for Armgods England.